A blog that has a ‘millennial’ name on it won’t be completed without a post about the quarter-life crisis :))
Being a millennial myself, I’m gonna tell you that it’s not just a piece of article titles that you would find online or a book title that makes you think that it’s a cool thing to experience on your 25ish.
It’s a real thing with a ton of ups and downs. Sadly some people are scared to admit it. The crisis can be as simple as crying over your stupid summer crush, not knowing your own self really well or failing on your ultimate dream.
After reading a number of self-help books, I thought I was ready to face the actual quarter-life crisis. I heard stories, I read about the amazing experiences of people dealing with this situation.
Discovering a turning point
Okay, so let’s get back to the basic. What is a turning point?
Citing from huffpost.com, a turning point is when a big event happens and change your life irrevocably. From what I understand, it can be anything from your vision, your view on religion, relationship or life goals. I believe that it is something that people might experience once, twice or maybe none.
When you are in your 20s, you’ll see that there are thousands of possibilities on how life can become. You’ll see many incredible life events like establishing a startup, getting married, moving to another part of the world and even coming out. Those big changes around us might influence us to reevaluate our goals, redefine ourselves and figure out how we want to live our lives in the most comfortable and happiest way.
Honestly, I don’t know how other people got into their turning point but mine was discovered after having a bulk of expectations, failures and some high-quality time by my self. Giving me tons of new exciting opportunities and great life lessons.
Getting asked: ‘When are you gonna get married?’
My Instagram stories and posts today are filled with bridesmaids duty hashtags, pre-wedding photoshoots and baby photos. Seeing my friends my age are getting married and having children are incredibly beautiful. A life milestone that we all wish to achieve soon or later.
Being a 25-year-old Asian, I got this question countless times, especially by my family. Something like ‘Oh, can’t wait for your wedding’, ‘Where’s your partner?’, ‘When will I become a grandma/ pa?’. So, hello my fellow Asians, I feel you! Give your best smile, ask for their blessings and go on with your life.
Sometimes, it is so sad on how society-at-large defines marriage as a competition. I completely disagree. It is a life milestone that no one should push you to do it on your 20s. Please, get married when you are ready; not because your parents or partner said so.
The perfect time to focus on yourself
A few months before turning 25, I had some conflicted thoughts about my self. I felt like I didn’t fit and disconnected from many of my friends. Life felt flat and many things started to fail over and over again. I could no longer see an issue in a clear vision, everything suddenly blended in together. There were times when I had some breakdowns and pouring them into stories wasn’t the easiest thing to do.
A very close friend of mine (Hi Dev!) said that I need to start focusing on myself, be present and distract yourself with something good. Something that will pump up my motivations and energy to live up the day.
Here’s what I learned when I gave myself an extra attention : to accept the vulnerability, find my own voice and be my authentic self.
Accepting your flaws is the most difficult step. Especially with the huge pressure from society through the Internet and social media. This is what I always say to my self that it’s okay to be different and stop thinking about what other people think.
Sign up for your own ‘therapy session’
You don’t need to be depressed or sick to go on a therapy session and it doesn’t mean that you need to pay a hundred bucks to talk to someone about your life. Find your own ‘therapy session’. I’d like to define it as an activity where I can take a step back from the crazy world, not thinking about what big decisions I need to do next and be my self.
My ‘therapy session’ is my workout session. It might sound a bit odd but the self-competitiveness and personal time I have for this activity make myself feel good. I know I’m gonna get something good out of it no matter how small the progress is.
I started to workout in the morning, exploring all the fun stuff from lifting, running, doing yoga or any random gym class. Love it! It is something I always look forward to getting through the week. It has definitely become my perfect distraction from all my problems. I spend about 1.5 hours without my phone and other silly comes-and-goes thought. Only focusing on my workout, that’s it.
It doesn’t mean that everyone has to take a gym membership or run a marathon to feel better. You just need to find your own thing. Something that makes you feel you. Share your doubts with someone else, discuss your uncertainty and seek for help if you need to 🙂