Here’s the thing about saying hello and goodbye; it feels like a salty and sweet popcorn where you can taste both things but it feels good anyway. A few weeks ago, I went to the airport and there is some sort of melancholy of seeing people coming from the arrival gates to meet with their loved ones. The mother and her two daughters waiting with anticipation, and hug their father as soon as he shows up in the arrival gate.
Suddenly, I felt a rush of memories, the feeling of coming home. I remember the first time I went to college to a different city. The first time I pack up all my favorite things and books to stay at a place I know I will be calling “home” for a few years ahead. It feels empty at first, you have this blank canvas to draw up a new independent life. Even though it’s just 2 hours away from your hometown, it feels like every day you learn new things about yourself.
After spending quite some times in a new place and you move back, there’s some sort of weird feeling that your hometown is not the same as it used to be. The people have changed and you cannot do the same thing you used to do. You meet all kinds of people, you learn to accept differences and all the nights I spent crying craving just to be home when I cannot. It’s hard but I always think it will be worth it.
But then life always takes you to the most interesting turn when you least expected it. You will go to some further place and you meet new interesting people, you find a different perspective in life, you find new people to hate together with your new friends, you will find companionship that matters, and it’s all in the package. The more you experience this kind of phases in life, it feels like the less you know.
“It is the same with people. Not every person you meet in life will become a close friend or lover. Some you will find hard to get along with or impossible to like. But these people, too, teach you the precious lesson of who you do like, so that you will appreciate those.” – Marie Kondo
Even though sometimes it’s lonely, I enjoy my time sitting in a coffee shop looking outside of people in a city where literally nobody cares what you do. Or I could just buy a cheap hot cup of peanut butter latte and just stay at the library. Somehow trying to figure out how to fix bathroom leakage in your flat, and how the internet monthly plan works, how to fix a broken heater… is all a part of being an adult.
The great part of starting over is that you are not in auto-pilot. When you go to a new city, you are fully aware of the smell, the sights, and you feel completely there. It feels like going to a vacation, meanwhile in your own hometown you put your life in auto-pilot where things just happened according to your routine. I am not one to say that we should “Marie-Kondo” our life right now and take off to a new city, but what I’m saying is even though it’s scary, but it brings positive change in your life
As Marie Kondo once said: “But when we really delve into the reasons for why we can’t let something go, there are only two: an attachment to the past or a fear for the future.”